i should really start managing my money ! everytime i look in my wallet im about 5 dollars away from being completely broke ! last wednesday my mom sent me 80 dollars and its already gone ! it went sssso fast ! i went to kroger to get some food and a couple snacks .. i went to the mall and got some jewelry to wear to our Allure dance party last weekend and we had to bring something for the party alsooooo ! i brought 6 things of cookies that were 2 for 5 dollars ! and there were two packs unopened at the end of the party .. :(( Lastly i spent money doing laundry friday night .. ! i have no job and my moms a single parent .. she pays for everythinggg room nd board .. classes .. food .. dance team payments .. everythingggg ! i really feel horrible whenever shes like " okay kia im sending you __ dollars .. make it last ! " because it never does. i was planning on bringing my car out here for next semester but that might not be such a good idea .. thats even more money id have to spend on gas ..

nowwww im feeling the pressure. my classes are getting ssso much harder and i really don't feel like im where i need to be in each class. the professors are moving ssssso fast , its almost like everything is a review. you HAVE to study the material almost everyday on your own to master it. im really proud of myself because i spent the entire weekend studying chemistry, and it felt really good. i've noticed alot of people are forgetting the trueeee purpose of college and getting lost in the parties , drinking or whatever ! i refuse to let that happen to me, all that crap is a waste and could hurt you and hold you back from your potential achievements. i mean its totally cool to hang out and party but it should't become a habit ..! anywaysss .. i was doing sssoo good at not being homesick and then me and my boyfriend back home get into a huge argurment. it really sucks because hes definitely best friend and even though we're miles away .. hes kept me sane and focused .. he pushes me to actually stay out here. and im worried im gonna get discourage and wanna go home againnnnnnn because we aren't talking and i feel like if i was home everything would be fineeeee. aaahh i don't know .. i guess we'll see how this week goes ..

My mission statement for life is that no matter what , i will never give up on my goals ! i will always be determined and fight for what i want. i know dreams don't come easy , and that they're not just handed to you on i silver platter and im okay with that. because one day i want to look back at my life and know that everythingggg was worth it ! all the time and effort ! as a young lady , the idea of becoming an engineer doesn't seem legit to most people .. i didn't choose my major to prove those people wrong but that's where a lot of my motivation comes from ! if i believe in myself .. i can do anythinggggg ! then other people will believe in me and before long .. being a  woman engineer will not just count as going against all odds ! : ) 

my second week of college was a lot better than my first ! i met wayyyy more people and im really starting to get in the swing of things ! i've learned that you really have to manage your time. ssso now when i get assignments i try to work on them right away and look over the assignment a day or two before its due. anywayssss im really excited about going home this weekend for labor day. i can't wait to see my family and my friendssss ! :) thats like all i've been thinking about since i've been here reallyyyy .. going home ! which is saddddd but im THAT homesick. but i mean its kinda bitter sweet now because i've gotten really close to my roommate and i really like my classes nd all my teachers ! .. just gotta take this whole experience one day at a time .. 

sssoooo basically college is totally different from high school. you have a outline for the semester with all your assignments and lectures. which is pretty cool. i like the fact that all my classes aren't everyday back to back like in high school. gives me time to take a nap between classes and do homework for the next class if i need too. only negative is that im homesick ! sure it feels good to be out on my own and away from home but not this far and not this longgggg.  i really miss seeing familar faces and being surrounding by people i love and people who love me. my first week i felt really alienated, like i didn't belong here. i'd go to class and then back to my dorm everyyyyday. which isn't a bad thing cause i could stay focused and get a head start on some assignments but who really wants to spend an entire school year doing that same thinggggg day after day. so i figured i'd try to get involved in some clubs or join a team. this pass saturday i tried out for the dance team and i made it ! it gave me a chance to meet some new people that shared a similar interest as me and took my mind off being homesick. i also plan to audition for the collaboration models club today. which will keep me from just sitting in my dorm doing a whole lot of nothing. so now i feel alot better about being 3 hrs from home .. i still miss it but now that i have a couple things to look forward to this year .. im excited ! i really like all my classes and professors and so im not worried about grades at all either ! another thing that keeps me from being homesick is ichat .. which is my new best friend. i can live chat with my family and my boyfriend<3 everyday. so basically i can see them anytime i want. im really looking forward to labor day weekend ! only 10 days left and i can go home ! :)