i should really start managing my money ! everytime i look in my wallet im about 5 dollars away from being completely broke ! last wednesday my mom sent me 80 dollars and its already gone ! it went sssso fast ! i went to kroger to get some food and a couple snacks .. i went to the mall and got some jewelry to wear to our Allure dance party last weekend and we had to bring something for the party alsooooo ! i brought 6 things of cookies that were 2 for 5 dollars ! and there were two packs unopened at the end of the party .. :(( Lastly i spent money doing laundry friday night .. ! i have no job and my moms a single parent .. she pays for everythinggg room nd board .. classes .. food .. dance team payments .. everythingggg ! i really feel horrible whenever shes like " okay kia im sending you __ dollars .. make it last ! " because it never does. i was planning on bringing my car out here for next semester but that might not be such a good idea .. thats even more money id have to spend on gas ..

nowwww im feeling the pressure. my classes are getting ssso much harder and i really don't feel like im where i need to be in each class. the professors are moving ssssso fast , its almost like everything is a review. you HAVE to study the material almost everyday on your own to master it. im really proud of myself because i spent the entire weekend studying chemistry, and it felt really good. i've noticed alot of people are forgetting the trueeee purpose of college and getting lost in the parties , drinking or whatever ! i refuse to let that happen to me, all that crap is a waste and could hurt you and hold you back from your potential achievements. i mean its totally cool to hang out and party but it should't become a habit ..! anywaysss .. i was doing sssoo good at not being homesick and then me and my boyfriend back home get into a huge argurment. it really sucks because hes definitely best friend and even though we're miles away .. hes kept me sane and focused .. he pushes me to actually stay out here. and im worried im gonna get discourage and wanna go home againnnnnnn because we aren't talking and i feel like if i was home everything would be fineeeee. aaahh i don't know .. i guess we'll see how this week goes ..

My mission statement for life is that no matter what , i will never give up on my goals ! i will always be determined and fight for what i want. i know dreams don't come easy , and that they're not just handed to you on i silver platter and im okay with that. because one day i want to look back at my life and know that everythingggg was worth it ! all the time and effort ! as a young lady , the idea of becoming an engineer doesn't seem legit to most people .. i didn't choose my major to prove those people wrong but that's where a lot of my motivation comes from ! if i believe in myself .. i can do anythinggggg ! then other people will believe in me and before long .. being a  woman engineer will not just count as going against all odds ! : )